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The fact that he could even understand any of the lyrics on the album is remarkableThe fact that he could even understand any of the lyrics on the album is remarkable
Apparently any uniform will doApparently any uniform will do
Doomscrolling > natureDoomscrolling > nature
What happens in Vegas…What happens in Vegas…
At least Greek got me a beer—the Latin from law school never did thatAt least Greek got me a beer—the Latin from law school never did that

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  • I HAVE had complete strangers tell me to “Cheer up”I HAVE had complete strangers tell me to “Cheer up”
  • After that, she introduced me to no more relativesAfter that, she introduced me to no more relatives
  • [insert pho pun][insert pho pun]
  • Who likes Family Circus? “Not Me”Who likes Family Circus? “Not Me”
  • While I’m not proud I laughed, I am proud that because of it, 35 years later I’m able to draw a pretty darn good student desk on its sideWhile I’m not proud I laughed, I am proud that because of it, 35 years later I’m able to draw a pretty darn good student desk on its side
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metal detector wand hit my fat belly

I’m going to start skipping breakfast on court days.

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