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Identity theft is no laughing matterIdentity theft is no laughing matter
Not sure what we would have done if we found the perpNot sure what we would have done if we found the perp
I had to, therefore, also explain RC Cola — the Switzerland of the warsI had to, therefore, also explain RC Cola — the Switzerland of the wars
So it's either wear the leather jacket which I know you hate, or this.So it's either wear the leather jacket which I know you hate, or this.
We hadn’t yet learned the term gallows humorWe hadn’t yet learned the term gallows humor

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  • Later, after our third margarita, everything would have been blurry anywayLater, after our third margarita, everything would have been blurry anyway
  • Plus, it’s a winter sport!Plus, it’s a winter sport!
  • Unsettling news to her family, I’m sure.Unsettling news to her family, I’m sure.
  • ♫ Sometimes I feel like, somebody’s watching me♫♫ Sometimes I feel like, somebody’s watching me♫
  • far be it for me to be the featured poo bandit on the HOA’s Facebook pagefar be it for me to be the featured poo bandit on the HOA’s Facebook page
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I didn’t quit Monopoly—I survived it

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