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Lights out … lunch upLights out … lunch up
She was hoping the threat of Christopher Cross would restore orderShe was hoping the threat of Christopher Cross would restore order
Aiming for Crockett, got BalkiAiming for Crockett, got Balki
I didn’t need a lab to tell me my Gordita levels were dangerously lowI didn’t need a lab to tell me my Gordita levels were dangerously low
If a scoutmaster screams in the woods and no one is around does he make a noiseIf a scoutmaster screams in the woods and no one is around does he make a noise

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  • I’m pretty sure the rules authorized me to hit him backI’m pretty sure the rules authorized me to hit him back
  • Back when I bought it, we thought carbon fiber was a laxativeBack when I bought it, we thought carbon fiber was a laxative
  • Now we are arguing whether this cartoon is racistNow we are arguing whether this cartoon is racist
  • We didn’t explore the Eastern arts in MY P.E. — just murderballWe didn’t explore the Eastern arts in MY P.E. — just murderball
  • Now I wish I bought the bigger bagNow I wish I bought the bigger bag
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Perhaps I should have submitted this to the Humor Is The Best Medicine column

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