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It’s not left vs right — it’s wrong vs louderIt’s not left vs right — it’s wrong vs louder
But I’m very young in Wookie YearsBut I’m very young in Wookie Years
Next time, I’m suggesting a “break” that involves air-conditioning and snacksNext time, I’m suggesting a “break” that involves air-conditioning and snacks
what’s the DMV equivalent of Shepardize?what’s the DMV equivalent of Shepardize?
What if Stephen King wrote Christine today, but it still featured a 25 year old Plymouth?What if Stephen King wrote Christine today, but it still featured a 25 year old Plymouth?

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  • My ears are currently carrying sunglasses, headphones, and a face mask.  They are effectively a purseMy ears are currently carrying sunglasses, headphones, and a face mask. They are effectively a purse
  • concierge service when you spend $9 a sodaconcierge service when you spend $9 a soda
  • “Hey Siri: Does alcohol kill Botulism?”“Hey Siri: Does alcohol kill Botulism?”
  • He never would have survived ”Be Kind, Rewind”He never would have survived ”Be Kind, Rewind”
  • Those YouTube videos aren’t going to watch themselvesThose YouTube videos aren’t going to watch themselves
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Snack Strong!

  • We take it for granted today, but a single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400s would get in his whole lifetime — @MatthewPCrowley

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