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  • Thanks for the sour persimmons, Cousin.Thanks for the sour persimmons, Cousin.
  • In my book, today is bigger than any national holiday.In my book, today is bigger than any national holiday.
  • It seems to address my inflammation and lazinessIt seems to address my inflammation and laziness
  • I was just relieved cereal finally lost its amateur statusI was just relieved cereal finally lost its amateur status
  • I don’t believe in stereotypes. I prefer to hate people on a more personal basisI don’t believe in stereotypes. I prefer to hate people on a more personal basis
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  • We take it for granted today, but a single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400s would get in his whole lifetime — @MatthewPCrowley

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