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The fact that he could even understand any of the lyrics on the album is remarkableThe fact that he could even understand any of the lyrics on the album is remarkable
Apparently any uniform will doApparently any uniform will do
Doomscrolling > natureDoomscrolling > nature
What happens in Vegas…What happens in Vegas…
At least Greek got me a beer—the Latin from law school never did thatAt least Greek got me a beer—the Latin from law school never did that

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  • The readers of Facebook may not appreciate it but at least I made myself chuckleThe readers of Facebook may not appreciate it but at least I made myself chuckle
  • As they teach you in law school: meus dominus habet deformem vestimenta suaAs they teach you in law school: meus dominus habet deformem vestimenta sua
  • Free shipping is when you buy things you don’t want so you can feel like a genius for not paying to ship the one thing you actually needed.Free shipping is when you buy things you don’t want so you can feel like a genius for not paying to ship the one thing you actually needed.
  • As long as they were waiting, hopefully they were entertained.As long as they were waiting, hopefully they were entertained.
  • Apparently the chicken was in self-quarantineApparently the chicken was in self-quarantine
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A plunger, old towels, and Po Chai Pills — STAT!

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