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  • I’m like a Bizarro Sammy HagarI’m like a Bizarro Sammy Hagar
  • I should have left it to match the overgrown weedsI should have left it to match the overgrown weeds
  • Because nothing says ‘vintage sophistication’ like smelling like your grandpa just came back from a pirate-themed yacht party.Because nothing says ‘vintage sophistication’ like smelling like your grandpa just came back from a pirate-themed yacht party.
  • I think I water-boarded myselfI think I water-boarded myself
  • I suppose reminding her to “ease off the clutch” would have gotten my head ripped off.I suppose reminding her to “ease off the clutch” would have gotten my head ripped off.
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One man’s garbage is another hamster’s habitat

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