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It’s not left vs right — it’s wrong vs louderIt’s not left vs right — it’s wrong vs louder
But I’m very young in Wookie YearsBut I’m very young in Wookie Years
Next time, I’m suggesting a “break” that involves air-conditioning and snacksNext time, I’m suggesting a “break” that involves air-conditioning and snacks
what’s the DMV equivalent of Shepardize?what’s the DMV equivalent of Shepardize?
What if Stephen King wrote Christine today, but it still featured a 25 year old Plymouth?What if Stephen King wrote Christine today, but it still featured a 25 year old Plymouth?

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  • Dishonesty is the second-best policyDishonesty is the second-best policy
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  • He appointed himself coxswainHe appointed himself coxswain
  • Of course, in our house we just call it “chicken salad”Of course, in our house we just call it “chicken salad”
  • It was more believable than the last video depo I sat throughIt was more believable than the last video depo I sat through

I had to use an early draft — before it got all racist

Wings, Fries, and MiraLAX

I am hesitant to suggest that the Japanese and Germans coordinate

the brass knuckles were less annoying

Last year when he called to ask if he could buy a Katana Sword — I assumed it was some type of lacrosse stick — until after I (fortunately) asked some probing questions.

I left it ambiguous as to whether I served, or went to the army surplus store in high school

They were out of “CAUTION: Dirty Laundry on Floor” signs

Humble-brag about their single-payer health care system?

Comments Off on Humble-brag about their single-payer health care system?

I’ve graduated from Eggos and Dinty Moore

Comments Off on I’ve graduated from Eggos and Dinty Moore

or at least how to bill for it

Comments Off on or at least how to bill for it

Other than that, how’s it going?

Comments Off on Other than that, how’s it going?
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