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Lights out … lunch upLights out … lunch up
She was hoping the threat of Christopher Cross would restore orderShe was hoping the threat of Christopher Cross would restore order
Aiming for Crockett, got BalkiAiming for Crockett, got Balki
I didn’t need a lab to tell me my Gordita levels were dangerously lowI didn’t need a lab to tell me my Gordita levels were dangerously low
If a scoutmaster screams in the woods and no one is around does he make a noiseIf a scoutmaster screams in the woods and no one is around does he make a noise

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Random Posts

  • and I’m pretty sure he knows the narrator killed Andy (and her brother’s wife)and I’m pretty sure he knows the narrator killed Andy (and her brother’s wife)
  • Because it’s just not a hamster funeral without Amazing Grace on the kazoo?Because it’s just not a hamster funeral without Amazing Grace on the kazoo?
  • Washoe county — nature’s refrigeratorWashoe county — nature’s refrigerator
  • I’ll hold off on the Costco-sized kitty litter and Sony TrinitronI’ll hold off on the Costco-sized kitty litter and Sony Trinitron
  • My kid is the Rube Goldberg computer destructionMy kid is the Rube Goldberg computer destruction

Just to be safe, I verified it was not yet a thing per Urban Dictionary.

Comments Off on Just to be safe, I verified it was not yet a thing per Urban Dictionary.

I guess I could use it to open more Amazon packages

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And that is why you never sort by new.

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🎶 We are the mediocre Presidents. You won’t find our faces on dollars or on cents. There’s Taylor, there’s Tyler, there’s Fillmore and there’s Hayes…🎶

Comments Off on 🎶 We are the mediocre Presidents. You won’t find our faces on dollars or on cents. There’s Taylor, there’s Tyler, there’s Fillmore and there’s Hayes…🎶

Life is full of choices and only one used to have a prize in every box.

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“Is it safe?”

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Where’s the love? It’s not like I was writing about Ringo the 4th.

Comments Off on Where’s the love? It’s not like I was writing about Ringo the 4th.

Ironically this happened AFTER my meetings stopped featuring doughnuts

Comments Off on Ironically this happened AFTER my meetings stopped featuring doughnuts

I still like them better than those arrogant universal donors

Comments Off on I still like them better than those arrogant universal donors

Hey Siri – make my kid go outside

Comments Off on Hey Siri – make my kid go outside
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