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Lambda Chi ‘til You Die — he did :(Lambda Chi ‘til You Die — he did :(
Buffet Smarter... Not HarderBuffet Smarter... Not Harder
Apparently the conference room is now her territoryApparently the conference room is now her territory
Patchwork Monkey -- PrismaPatchwork Monkey -- Prisma
He would have saved 5% with Subscribe and SaveHe would have saved 5% with Subscribe and Save

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  • I’m sure the burning smell is nothing to worry aboutI’m sure the burning smell is nothing to worry about
  • Those YouTube videos aren’t going to watch themselvesThose YouTube videos aren’t going to watch themselves
  • If a happy marriage is a journey, then my right foot was a speed bumpIf a happy marriage is a journey, then my right foot was a speed bump
  • If we still were graded on a curve, I’d be considered an animalIf we still were graded on a curve, I’d be considered an animal
  • Chicken and Stars and a Corona would have seemed appropriateChicken and Stars and a Corona would have seemed appropriate

I don’t think I’m cheating (on my diet) if the food is Australian

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I was hoping there’d be Cool Ranch Doritos instead of cake for dessert.

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my appeal was dismissed by the supreme court by way of a footnote

Kind of like being dumped by text message

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Russ, when they close down the road they put up big signs…like this one!

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You’d think by now my iPhone would know me better than to assume I’d walk somewhere

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Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of clutch in the morning

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Avi’s Bar Mitzvah beat the worldwide pandemic by a sneeze

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She did it pro bono

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there was much giggling by one or both of us

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Although in some sects, a lightening deal is considered divine intervention

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