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  • Ironically, it was an Australian bottle with a twist cap.Ironically, it was an Australian bottle with a twist cap.
  • I was prepared to make my own relief if the Court didn’t grant me anyI was prepared to make my own relief if the Court didn’t grant me any
  • I was the third coolest person on the block (fourth if you include the dog)I was the third coolest person on the block (fourth if you include the dog)
  • It’s like Touch ID but with peanut butter and jelly.It’s like Touch ID but with peanut butter and jelly.
  • … and all is good with the world… and all is good with the world
idiot check

I guess he was using the term appropriately

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Still beats the Morning Zoo

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i took my kid's sack lunch to work

Hopefully we can get the whiskey smell out of his thermos since I had to Irish up his Kool-Aid

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I did not see that coming

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Unwrap a smile … and judge it

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Hopefully the T-shirt will remind him to clear out his cookies

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high dive

This Is Crazy This Is Crazy This Is Crazy

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I suppose I could have run faster

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An inauspicious start to a culinary journey

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It costs five dollars? … You don’t put bourbon in it or anything? … Just checking.

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