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Lights out … lunch upLights out … lunch up
She was hoping the threat of Christopher Cross would restore orderShe was hoping the threat of Christopher Cross would restore order
Aiming for Crockett, got BalkiAiming for Crockett, got Balki
I didn’t need a lab to tell me my Gordita levels were dangerously lowI didn’t need a lab to tell me my Gordita levels were dangerously low
If a scoutmaster screams in the woods and no one is around does he make a noiseIf a scoutmaster screams in the woods and no one is around does he make a noise

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Random Posts

  • It costs five dollars? … You don’t put bourbon in it or anything? … Just checking.It costs five dollars? … You don’t put bourbon in it or anything? … Just checking.
  • I think I water-boarded myselfI think I water-boarded myself
  • “Where,” indeed.“Where,” indeed.
  • I almost felt like I should withdraw because of a conflict of interestI almost felt like I should withdraw because of a conflict of interest
  • After Thanos they should take on the Cavity CreepsAfter Thanos they should take on the Cavity Creeps

and how many trading stamps do I get for that?

Comments Off on and how many trading stamps do I get for that?

or … FREEDOM!?

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instead of letting the dog out, my kid woke me up to say she was barking

None shall sleep!

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I know a guy who’ll eat Fritos until his lips go numb from the salt

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fortunately I was trying to be funny

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Tivo hoarders

I might need those one day / I’ll put them in the maybe pile

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The greats all start somewhere

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It’s about time

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The label had “nutrition information” so it must have had SOME… right?

Comments Off on The label had “nutrition information” so it must have had SOME… right?
my neighbor was test driving a porsche while I was picking up doggy doo

I was the third coolest person on the block (fourth if you include the dog)

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