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  • Hopefully we can get the whiskey smell out of his thermos since I had to Irish up his Kool-AidHopefully we can get the whiskey smell out of his thermos since I had to Irish up his Kool-Aid
  • I wish she would “fall back” just as easilyI wish she would “fall back” just as easily
  • Slow Traffic Keep to the RightSlow Traffic Keep to the Right
  • Kinda ups the ante in terms of a fresh pairKinda ups the ante in terms of a fresh pair
  • “ A Scout is … clean[ish]” or We should have used this as an opportunity to teach him how to make a loofa out of a pinecone and some mud“ A Scout is … clean[ish]” or We should have used this as an opportunity to teach him how to make a loofa out of a pinecone and some mud

Free shipping is when you buy things you don’t want so you can feel like a genius for not paying to ship the one thing you actually needed.

… and don’t call me Shirley

Keg-Stands: Where gravity meets bad decisions

“Exhausted” is worth 19 points

Don’t even get me started on what happened when I requested, “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”

Murder Stream Stream was already taken

Almost cheaper to just have the cavities filled

🎶 Ingonyama nengw’ enamabala: It’s the Circle of FAFSA

In Space … No One Can Hear You Puke

The dad uniform: because somewhere between mowing the lawn and grilling burgers, fashion waved the white flag

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