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Fighting hard for victims of all kinds of accidentsFighting hard for victims of all kinds of accidents
Guess which I opened firstGuess which I opened first
Fascinating that the bearded dragon hiding in the garage was the SECOND most interesting thing we foundFascinating that the bearded dragon hiding in the garage was the SECOND most interesting thing we found
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  • All right, Stephanie, gently extend your arm. Extend your middle finger. Very good.All right, Stephanie, gently extend your arm. Extend your middle finger. Very good.
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Alas, poor Yorick! He never found his seat, but he died trying.

with each drink my nonsense sounded more profound

But I’m very young in Wookie Years

Goose²

It’s almost as if I intentionally left the Ritz behind for Tina to bring just so I could tell that joke

I don’t pay attention to my car’s speedometer either

It’s not left vs right — it’s wrong vs louder

Next time, I’m suggesting a “break” that involves air-conditioning and snacks

Like going to a concert and the band hands you an aux cable

Let the fools have their avo toast

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