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 She should have tried to “Lose weight deliciously with the aid of Ayds” She should have tried to “Lose weight deliciously with the aid of Ayds”
Thankfully we are in the post-olestra eraThankfully we are in the post-olestra era
She had time. I had groceries melting.She had time. I had groceries melting.
They are part of the Costco GenerationThey are part of the Costco Generation
Great Minds Mosh AlikeGreat Minds Mosh Alike

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  • I left it ambiguous as to whether I served, or went to the army surplus store in high schoolI left it ambiguous as to whether I served, or went to the army surplus store in high school
  • 🎶 Pee and my shadow 🎶🎶 Pee and my shadow 🎶
  • Calvin’s Dad: “After all, it was just a pair of binoculars. In the big scheme of things, that’s really not so bad … In another ten years, you’ll probably be wrecking my car”Calvin’s Dad: “After all, it was just a pair of binoculars. In the big scheme of things, that’s really not so bad … In another ten years, you’ll probably be wrecking my car”
my wife hates me

If a happy marriage is a journey, then my right foot was a speed bump

hi mother ginger!

It was like the Rocky Horror of holiday productions

total loss kids amiright its only stuff

He can add “Pre Law Internship” to his resume

home from college and he misses his friends

I am preparing him for Mys-Anthropology 101 next semester

I didn’t quit Monopoly—I survived it

Identity theft is no laughing matter

Not sure what we would have done if we found the perp

Although she was probably relieved that I was not in the middle of a “no wash” winning streak

Gene Kelly’s musical work would have been more appropriate, but, alas, I cannot dance.

I had to, therefore, also explain RC Cola — the Switzerland of the wars

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