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Vitals: BP, O2, Pulse, and Point SpreadVitals: BP, O2, Pulse, and Point Spread
My legs thought we were done. The course disagreed.My legs thought we were done. The course disagreed.
Remembering the Outdoor Code’s rule to “leave no trace,” I wiped my blood off the rock.Remembering the Outdoor Code’s rule to “leave no trace,” I wiped my blood off the rock.
 She should have tried to “Lose weight deliciously with the aid of Ayds” She should have tried to “Lose weight deliciously with the aid of Ayds”
I mean it’s no McDonalds collectible cupI mean it’s no McDonalds collectible cup

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  • >>>[unintelligible mumbling continues]>>>[unintelligible mumbling continues]
  • we should have hired the balloon animals guy to go with itwe should have hired the balloon animals guy to go with it
  • Back when I bought it, we thought carbon fiber was a laxativeBack when I bought it, we thought carbon fiber was a laxative

I knew it might be a problem when my best man announced the final score of the Penn State game as part of his speech.

Alas, poor Yorick! He never found his seat, but he died trying.

with each drink my nonsense sounded more profound

But I’m very young in Wookie Years

Goose²

It’s almost as if I intentionally left the Ritz behind for Tina to bring just so I could tell that joke

I don’t pay attention to my car’s speedometer either

It’s not left vs right — it’s wrong vs louder

Next time, I’m suggesting a “break” that involves air-conditioning and snacks

Like going to a concert and the band hands you an aux cable

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