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Lights out … lunch upLights out … lunch up
She was hoping the threat of Christopher Cross would restore orderShe was hoping the threat of Christopher Cross would restore order
Aiming for Crockett, got BalkiAiming for Crockett, got Balki
I didn’t need a lab to tell me my Gordita levels were dangerously lowI didn’t need a lab to tell me my Gordita levels were dangerously low
If a scoutmaster screams in the woods and no one is around does he make a noiseIf a scoutmaster screams in the woods and no one is around does he make a noise

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Identity theft is no laughing matter

Not sure what we would have done if we found the perp

Although she was probably relieved that I was not in the middle of a “no wash” winning streak

Gene Kelly’s musical work would have been more appropriate, but, alas, I cannot dance.

I had to, therefore, also explain RC Cola — the Switzerland of the wars

It felt more like a flying PowerPoint presentation

I hope it does not affect my eligibility

I knew it might be a problem when my best man announced the final score of the Penn State game as part of his speech.

Alas, poor Yorick! He never found his seat, but he died trying.

with each drink my nonsense sounded more profound

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