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Lambda Chi ‘til You Die — he did :(Lambda Chi ‘til You Die — he did :(
Buffet Smarter... Not HarderBuffet Smarter... Not Harder
Apparently the conference room is now her territoryApparently the conference room is now her territory
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Patchwork Monkey -- PrismaPatchwork Monkey -- Prisma

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  • They say the best jokes require the audience to connect the dots or Q: Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? A: Because the ‘p’ is silent.They say the best jokes require the audience to connect the dots or Q: Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? A: Because the ‘p’ is silent.
  • I didn’t quit Monopoly—I survived itI didn’t quit Monopoly—I survived it
  • good for punching the code and the kidsgood for punching the code and the kids

I had to, therefore, also explain RC Cola — the Switzerland of the wars

It felt more like a flying PowerPoint presentation

I hope it does not affect my eligibility

I knew it might be a problem when my best man announced the final score of the Penn State game as part of his speech.

Alas, poor Yorick! He never found his seat, but he died trying.

with each drink my nonsense sounded more profound

But I’m very young in Wookie Years

Goose²

It’s almost as if I intentionally left the Ritz behind for Tina to bring just so I could tell that joke

I don’t pay attention to my car’s speedometer either

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