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  • 🎶 I like my briefs fast and my bass down low 🎶🎶 I like my briefs fast and my bass down low 🎶
  • Jessica! Not again!Jessica! Not again!
  • What good is a bright smile if I’m not awake to enjoy it?What good is a bright smile if I’m not awake to enjoy it?
  • Hopefully the enemy will so focused on the lack of a radar image, they won’t notice the roar overheadHopefully the enemy will so focused on the lack of a radar image, they won’t notice the roar overhead
  • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This was not covered in law school.

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The tables have turned

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Don’t we all?

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Who needs game, when you got a gun?

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Well, that’s how I remember it, anyway

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Back when I bought it, we thought carbon fiber was a laxative

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I still want my 25 cent McDonald’s senior coffee

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Everyone has their tale to tell

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Because what better way to celebrate Eastern Orthodox Christmas than with some Peter Paul trick or treats

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Snack Strong!

  • We take it for granted today, but a single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400s would get in his whole lifetime — @MatthewPCrowley

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