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  • Maybe I should start saying “There’s a fragile package” instead of “I’m trying to sleep!”Maybe I should start saying “There’s a fragile package” instead of “I’m trying to sleep!”
  • My ears are currently carrying sunglasses, headphones, and a face mask. They are effectively a purseMy ears are currently carrying sunglasses, headphones, and a face mask. They are effectively a purse
  • Fortunately we had to hire a plumber today so it’s almost as if I remembered that 21 is the “brass” anniversaryFortunately we had to hire a plumber today so it’s almost as if I remembered that 21 is the “brass” anniversary
  • In space … no one can hear you vomitIn space … no one can hear you vomit
  • Still less annoying than autocorrecting my text to a bunch of “ducks” and “shuts”Still less annoying than autocorrecting my text to a bunch of “ducks” and “shuts”

Great music never gets old … just the listeners

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Number Two… For Two Points!

I’ve Been Working on my Ball Skills

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who love the family circus? not me!

Who loves Family Circus? “Not Me”

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In all fairness, they are both angiosperms.

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Basically my “Come to Arthur” moment

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I got more stories than J.D.’s got Salinger

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I Will Eff You Like a Pig!

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Whatever it is, I’m assuming he’d be wearing it ironically.

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some of my favorite houses

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Hardly an auspicious way to start the Chinese New Year

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