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  • I felt obligated to try to carve a herniated C4-5.

    Read More I felt obligated to try to carve a herniated C4-5.Continue

  • A-ha lied when they said, “I’ll be gone in a day or two”

    Read More A-ha lied when they said, “I’ll be gone in a day or two”Continue

  • I’ll just leave it up and call it a Jacob Marley Christmas Chain

    Read More I’ll just leave it up and call it a Jacob Marley Christmas ChainContinue

  • entertaining crackers Michigan J. Frog

    Read More Entertaining, indeedContinue

  • stinky cheese hiding in my fridge

    Read More My mask was working double dutyContinue

  • Here’s the leash, sir. I’m going back to get the rest of the carcass off the road.

    Read More Here’s the leash, sir. I’m going back to get the rest of the carcass off the road.Continue

  • I already made the mistake of trying to listen to a book on CD in shuffle

    Read More I already made the mistake of trying to listen to a book on CD in shuffleContinue

  • Who would have thought 19 years of schooling and I wouldn’t have passed a Voting Literacy test.

    Read More Who would have thought 19 years of schooling and I wouldn’t have passed a Voting Literacy test.Continue

  • With no end in sight, it was time.

    Read More With no end in sight, it was time.Continue

  • I could have waved the wheat

    Read More I could have waved the wheatContinue

  • Last one standing should get a steak dinner — assuming your teeth work

    Read More Last one standing should get a steak dinner — assuming your teeth workContinue

  • “She had the smell of a brand-new car. That’s just about the finest smell in the world. Except…”

    Read More “She had the smell of a brand-new car. That’s just about the finest smell in the world. Except…”Continue

  • That’s the last time we buy groceries from LV-426.

    Read More That’s the last time we buy groceries from LV-426.Continue

  • If he doesn’t hurry up, I am going to ask to speak with the manager!

    Read More If he doesn’t hurry up, I am going to ask to speak with the manager!Continue

  • hoodie weather

    Read More In my book, today is bigger than any national holiday.Continue

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