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  • Breakfast of ChampionsBreakfast of Champions
  • As long as they were waiting, hopefully they were entertained.As long as they were waiting, hopefully they were entertained.
  • Nailed the Six-Point LandingNailed the Six-Point Landing
  • Very Few Animals Were Harmed in the Making of These ShelvesVery Few Animals Were Harmed in the Making of These Shelves
  • Heck, we didn’t even get the extended warranty on the rockerHeck, we didn’t even get the extended warranty on the rocker

I had to use an early draft — before it got all racist

Wings, Fries, and MiraLAX

I am hesitant to suggest that the Japanese and Germans coordinate

the brass knuckles were less annoying

Last year when he called to ask if he could buy a Katana Sword — I assumed it was some type of lacrosse stick — until after I (fortunately) asked some probing questions.

I left it ambiguous as to whether I served, or went to the army surplus store in high school

They were out of “CAUTION: Dirty Laundry on Floor” signs

Humble-brag about their single-payer health care system?

Comments Off on Humble-brag about their single-payer health care system?

I’ve graduated from Eggos and Dinty Moore

Comments Off on I’ve graduated from Eggos and Dinty Moore

or at least how to bill for it

Comments Off on or at least how to bill for it

Other than that, how’s it going?

Comments Off on Other than that, how’s it going?
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