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  • I guess I could use it to open more Amazon packagesI guess I could use it to open more Amazon packages
  • Hopefully the time dilation effect of space travel will mean I’m not that lateHopefully the time dilation effect of space travel will mean I’m not that late
  • There is a reason Disneyland does not sell creamy pasta from stands throughout the parkThere is a reason Disneyland does not sell creamy pasta from stands throughout the park
  • You’ve come a long way, BabyYou’ve come a long way, Baby
  • Although with Costco’s low, low prices how could he afford NOT to buy itAlthough with Costco’s low, low prices how could he afford NOT to buy it

They were out of “CAUTION: Dirty Laundry on Floor” signs

Humble-brag about their single-payer health care system?

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I’ve graduated from Eggos and Dinty Moore

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or at least how to bill for it

Comments Off on or at least how to bill for it

Other than that, how’s it going?

Comments Off on Other than that, how’s it going?

If we still were graded on a curve, I’d be considered an animal

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And at the end of the day, when the lot’s all full and everybody’s fighting to get out, we’ll be the first ones out, too, right?

Comments Off on And at the end of the day, when the lot’s all full and everybody’s fighting to get out, we’ll be the first ones out, too, right?

Hopefully the learning curve will not be as steep as Candy Crush

Comments Off on Hopefully the learning curve will not be as steep as Candy Crush

Come hungry… leave a little queasy from the GriddleFry®

It goes well with my M1941 hat

Comments Off on It goes well with my M1941 hat
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