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  • What’s the sign say? No bare feet. What’s THAT sign say? No fighting. What’s that mean? No fighting. You owe me one gumball machine!What’s the sign say? No bare feet. What’s THAT sign say? No fighting. What’s that mean? No fighting. You owe me one gumball machine!
  • can’t help but think he stuck around for that onecan’t help but think he stuck around for that one
  • Hands down, the best day of my law school careerHands down, the best day of my law school career
  • Calvin’s Dad: “After all, it was just a pair of binoculars. In the big scheme of things, that’s really not so bad … In another ten years, you’ll probably be wrecking my car”Calvin’s Dad: “After all, it was just a pair of binoculars. In the big scheme of things, that’s really not so bad … In another ten years, you’ll probably be wrecking my car”
  • One Glass of Water!     🎶 One! One! One! One! Let’s sing a song about one! How many is one?” 🎶One Glass of Water! 🎶 One! One! One! One! Let’s sing a song about one! How many is one?” 🎶

לכו הגדול האדום

closet organization sock drawer

Don’t get me started on how I sort my unmentionables

tpo hearing clark county nevada las vegas justice court

“We have never lost a case”*

*applies only to TPOs, when the other side doesn’t show up, and the judge is in a hurry.

farting in an elevator

Push lobby and pull my finger

van halen diver down scuba

For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge still escapes me

One hand washes the … oh, never mind

text message that ℞ prescription is ready at cvs wallgreens

A narcissist walks into a pharmacy…

The rest of the joke doesn’t matter.

used a flashlight in my closet the light was out

How many lawyers does it take to screw in (up?) a lightbulb …

Tambourine at Shabbat services

🎶 I had a little tambourine… that couldn’t keep the beat… 🎶

accidentally popped the trunk

From a kitten’s book of etiquette, this lesson I take You don’t have to be embarrassed when you make a mistake You pull yourself together, and you brush off your hat, And tell the watching crowd, “you know, I meant to do that!”

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