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  • Today I got published … in print!Today I got published … in print!
  • Five years ago I would not have foreseen this intersection of data protection and my skin care routineFive years ago I would not have foreseen this intersection of data protection and my skin care routine
  • I had to apologize to the insurance lady for the swear wordsI had to apologize to the insurance lady for the swear words
  • “But I took her away from all that and now she works for me. My name is Steve Austin, astronaut, a man barely alive”“But I took her away from all that and now she works for me. My name is Steve Austin, astronaut, a man barely alive”
  • Fortunately they weren’t Royals — because THAT would have been a tragedyFortunately they weren’t Royals — because THAT would have been a tragedy

Well, not as a main course

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He says we’re going the wrong way. Oh, he’s drunk. How would he know where we’re going?

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All I’m saying is that it’s tricky to rock a rhyme… to rock a rhyme that’s right on time

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And yet, they are so quick to offer double-bagging

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As Gene Rayburn used to say on Match Game, “It was SO cold…”

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Well, it’s probably just a bunch of jocks and cheerleaders anyway

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dance class one way mirror two way mirror kids waving

[joke involving quarters and drop-down curtain]

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my phone went off in court

In case you are wondering, in Court, “Please silence your cell phones” is NOT a suggestion #contempt

my ringtone…

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Now that the statute of limitations has run, I can probably post about this alleged occurrence, of which I am not aware nor would be if asked to testify about such alleged matter, that didn’t occur to my memory

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i hid in my office while my partner fired our receptionist

There’s no “HR” in “ESQ”

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