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  • Not sure what we would have done if we found the perp

    Read More Not sure what we would have done if we found the perpContinue

  • Although she was probably relieved that I was not in the middle of a “no wash” winning streak

    Read More Although she was probably relieved that I was not in the middle of a “no wash” winning streakContinue

  • Gene Kelly’s musical work would have been more appropriate, but, alas, I cannot dance.

    Read More Gene Kelly’s musical work would have been more appropriate, but, alas, I cannot dance.Continue

  • I had to, therefore, also explain RC Cola — the Switzerland of the wars

    Read More I had to, therefore, also explain RC Cola — the Switzerland of the warsContinue

  • It felt more like a flying PowerPoint presentation

    Read More It felt more like a flying PowerPoint presentationContinue

  • My UCLA career was brief but memorable

    Read More My UCLA career was brief but memorableContinue

  • I knew it might be a problem when my best man announced the final score of the Penn State game as part of his speech.

    Read More I knew it might be a problem when my best man announced the final score of the Penn State game as part of his speech.Continue

  • Alas, poor Yorick! He never found his seat, but he died trying.

    Read More Alas, poor Yorick! He never found his seat, but he died trying.Continue

  • with each drink my nonsense sounded more profound

    Read More with each drink my nonsense sounded more profoundContinue

  • But I’m very young in Wookie Years

    Read More But I’m very young in Wookie YearsContinue

  • Goose²

    Read More Goose²Continue

  • It’s almost as if I intentionally left the Ritz behind for Tina to bring just so I could tell that joke

    Read More It’s almost as if I intentionally left the Ritz behind for Tina to bring just so I could tell that jokeContinue

  • I don’t pay attention to my car’s speedometer either

    Read More I don’t pay attention to my car’s speedometer eitherContinue

  • It’s not left vs right — it’s wrong vs louder

    Read More It’s not left vs right — it’s wrong vs louderContinue

  • Next time, I’m suggesting a “break” that involves air-conditioning and snacks

    Read More Next time, I’m suggesting a “break” that involves air-conditioning and snacksContinue

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